<!DOCTYPE HTML>
<html lang="en-CA">
    <head>
        <title>Christian Droulers :: And there she was</title>
        <link rel="stylesheet" href="/stylesheets/style.css" media="screen" type="text/css">
        <link rel="stylesheet" href="/stylesheets/style.print.css" media="print" type="text/css">
        <link rel="openid.server" href="https://www.google.com/accounts/o8/ud" />
        <link rel="openid.delegate" href="https://plus.google.com/102046524498192574412" />
        <link rel="openid2.local_id" href="https://plus.google.com/102046524498192574412" />
        <link rel="openid2.provider" href="https://www.google.com/accounts/o8/ud" />
        <meta http-equiv="X-XRDS-Location" content="https://www.google.com/accounts/o8/id" />
        
        <script type="text/javascript" src="/scripts/ga.js"></script>
    </head>
    <body class="writings single">
        <header>
            <h1>Christian Droulers</h1>
            <h2>Agile and flexible programmer</h2>
        </header>
        <nav>
            <ul>
                <li><a href="/">Presentation</a></li>
                <li><a href="/projects/">Projects</a></li>
                <li><a href="/cv/">Curriculum Vitae</a></li>
                <li><a href="/writings/">Writings</a></li>
                <li><a href="/articles/">Articles</a></li>
            </ul>
        </nav>
        <section id="content">
            <h2>And there she was</h2>

<p><aside>
    <a href="/writings/elle-etait-la/">Version française</a>
</aside></p>

<p>My flimsy fingers reached for the button. I was afraid. Afraid as I had never
been before. I am strong. I can do this. The ring echoed through the walls. Was
she really there? Was this really a good idea? Should I have verified her
address before? I couldn’t really do that, could I. My brain jumped when a
letter was slid under the door. I picked it up, unfolded it and planted my eyes
on the beautifully written words on it. They simply registered into my brain as
any other words would have. My mind could not react to the fact that this would
be a life‒changing experience.</p>

<p>“When you hear three knocks, open the door, enter, close it behind you and
walk five steps in front of you. Then, stop and wait.”</p>

<p>I brought the paper to my face to gently inhale its scent. Was it a rose
smell? Or a petunia. It didn’t really matter. It smelled so good my brain felt
suddenly really relaxed. The magnificent full moon shone on my face, letting me
appreciate what a chance I had. The knocks came at that moment. My heart jumped
two beats, I was back in my stressed position again. Question sifted along my
mind, making me want to just turn around, go back home and sleep as if nothing
ever happened. But I couldn’t. I had come this far and it was all I wanted right
now. I put my hand on the knob and turned it. Only darkness awaited me. I had
never seen such a dark place before. I stepped in and shut the door behind me.
It wasn’t darkness anymore. It was blackness. A shadow so black I could not even
see my own hands. One... two... three... four... five... I stopped at the same
time that I realized I was holding my breath. I inhaled slowly to try and relax,
but it seemed that tonight would be a night of tension. It seemed she had
plastered the windows shut with something. My eyes kept sweeping from left to
right, hoping to grasp a tiny ray of light, a ray of hope. But it never came. I
began growing even more nervous. Was it a joke? Was she really here?</p>

<p>‒ Follow the sound of my voice, she said from somewhere in front of me.</p>

<p>I snapped out of my stupid thoughts and clumsily walked forward. She kept
calling me closer with a low, tender voice that would have made me do anything.</p>

<p>‒ Just a couple more steps. Come on, don’t be shy, you’ve seen how I am not.</p>

<p>I had seen. But I could not even guess what she was or how she acted.</p>

<p>‒ Alright. Stop here. Don’t move.</p>

<p>I obeyed. Dumb to say, but even if I had wanted to do else than what she
ordered, I would have not been able to.</p>

<p>‒ Close your eyes and listen closely.</p>

<p>It seemed that I had no choice. I closed my eyes and concentrated exclusively
on my hearing. Every little noise around me made me curious. I could hear a fan
spinning lazily over my head, feeling a bit of the moving air on my arms. Then I
heard a gentle brushing, a low chuckle. A nervous breathing, an impatient
ruffling.</p>

<p>My world came apart suddenly. Her soft, gentle, beautiful fingers had touched
my face. Her skin had come in contact with mine. Her soft, mellow, beautiful,
honeyed skin was slowly caressing my body. I could not move. I did not want to
move in fear it might all go away. It didn’t.</p>

<p>‒ Relax, she said, it’s only you and I. There is no need to be scared.</p>

<p>Was I stiff? I didn’t really know. All I could think of was the adrenaline
coursing through my body. It was exhilarating. Her hand brushed close to mine so
I grabbed it gently. My other hand reached hers and they clasped together. My
head bent down, guided my lips in search for hers. Oh, the pleasure of trifling
in the dark in search of the beautiful oasis of magnificence that were her lips.
It was only a gentle brush at first, then they connected for a couple of
seconds. On the third try, she let her tongue out to tickle my upper lip. She
pulled away a bit and giggled.</p>

<p>‒ You taste good, she whispered.</p>

<p>I tasted her back.</p>

<p>‒ So do you, I said.</p>

<p>I tried not to sound afraid, which was the complete opposite of what I felt
in every muscle in my body. I could feel each part of my body shaking. I
embraced her entire body and we let our tongues dance together for a moment that
could never last long enough. I felt liberated. The blackness surrounding us
only brought us closer together. Nothing could get to us in here at that
particular moment. I wished for it to never end. A futile wish, but hope
remained nonetheless.</p>

<p>My hand gently frayed through her hair, caressing her head as if it were the
most precious thing in the world. Her hands started foraging under my blouse,
slowly eating away at the buttons, slowly uncovering my chest. I could only
exhale, letting the pleasure flow through my body. Pleasure overwhelming my
brain. It felt like a million feathers tickling my torso’s skin. And yet, her
lips and tongue seemed as if they would get enough of my neck. As the last
button fell under her gruesome hunger for flesh, she slid her soft hands along
my shoulders, then my arms, my elbows, my forearms, my wrists and my hands to
finish with my fingers. Then, our contact was broken as her hands had left me.
It wasn’t long before I took her face between my hands and laid my lips onto
hers. Her belly was explored by a curious, yet shy hand while the other massaged
the back of her head. Buttons popped out of her stretched shirt’s cleavage as my
ravenous hands asked for more. Suddenly, she gasped loudly. A sexy, inviting
gasp. I could almost hear her biting her lower lip in lust. I had hit a
sensitive spot. I caressed her arms, letting my lips loose in her chest’s
curves, adoring every part of her body that they could lay themselves upon.
Everything in the dark was even more beautiful. Things unseen can never be
described though. I could not find words to describe what I felt then. And I
never will.</p>

<p>She groped my shoulders, spun me around and threw me on her bed just hard
enough for me to like it. She then put each of her knees to my sides, taking
position over me. She clasped her hands on mine and forced my arms behind my
head.</p>

<p>‒ You are not aloud to move, she said.</p>

<p>I knew she was smiling while saying this. And by the tone of her voice, I
could also know it was a dirty smile. The one you only get from other people
expecting a good night. She moved down the mattress and slid the rest of my
clothes off. I heard a low shuffling and the contact was made again. Her slender
hands slowly brushed up the inside of my legs, very gently making their way onto
my thighs. Her lips let her tongue out to lick my body from the foot all the way
up to my neck while letting her naked body caress my skin along the way. It was
all over me. I felt as if I could not do anything about her lust. Even if I had
wanted to, I could never have left. She would have never let me go. Her tongue
found refuge inside my mouth while the whole length of her marvellous body
covered mine, her hot body warmed up mine as I felt sweat trickle down her sides
all the way onto me. Her breath was heavy, filled with lust and desire. I tried
to kiss her but she pulled away to tease me. She let a sexy giggle out that let
me know she was in charge for now. She then proceeded in slowly hovering over my
body, pecking quickly in some places, building the almost unbearable tension
running throughout my body. The tension rose yet again, such a feat I thought
impossible was made real by her tongue playing with my body. Her godlike lips
entered in the game and made me grab the sheets with my hands as I let out a
wild gasp. I had never suffered in such a beautiful way. She was so gentle and
yet so wild. When I could not take it anymore, I pulled her up and spun her on
her back, kissing her lips and sliding my hand over her body, exploring its
magnificence. My mouth slowly drifted south, where it found paradise.
Apparently, that paradise was hers as well as her breathing accelerated. Gentle,
low moans came out of her mouth and her hands took my head and caressed it. I
kept exploring this beautiful place my tongue had found until I felt she
couldn’t take any more. I slid my body over hers, touching her lips with mine.</p>

<p>‒ Take me, she said, breathing very heavily.</p>

<p>I was more than happy to oblige. When our bodies connected, I felt her tense.
I went back and forth slowly, synchronising my breathing with hers, feeling her
soft, magnificent inside. When I took the rhythm up a notch, her arms wrapped
around my body, taking away any distance that was left between us. Her nails
scratched my back, sending a chill through my whole body. I could hear her moan
over the sound our bodies made when they brushed together. I could feel her warm
breath all over my face. I was in heaven.</p>

<p>She lifted her knees and my body followed with deeper thrusts. Her moans
became tiny screams that grew louder with each coming and going. It was
beautiful. I could not retain my voice anymore. I moaned along her screams,
letting the ecstasy fill my body, feeling every single muscle tensed to a point
almost unbearable. I could feel she was at that same point as well because I
heard her hands dig deep into the mattress, her back bending upwards. Suddenly,
the screams were no more, it was only a restrained gasp that lasted a good 20
seconds before the culmination of pleasure. I could no longer endure the tension
and I let go, releasing both of our bodies of the beautiful pain we were
enduring. Her arms embraced my body and hugged me so hard I had to work to keep
my movements steady as we came together. Then, it was over. I let my body lay
onto hers, her mouth close to my ear, mine close to hers. All I could
concentrate on was both of our heavy breaths. Hers would run down my neck,
bringing a chill up my skin, creating goose bumps along its path.</p>

<p>‒ Thank you, I whispered.</p>

<p>She chuckled softly.</p>

<p>‒ Thank <em>you!</em> For this, she replied.</p>

<p>I smiled in the dark. I layed onto her for a long moment, unable to say
anything else. It was better that way. Silence could never be enjoyed more than
now. I took this time to remember how it all started...</p>

<p>A simple link on a blog I read regularly. It was so simple. “Trema” was her
nickname. A couple of months of lurking on her website, waiting for an update, a
picture, a piece of her mind, a glimpse of her beautiful body. And every week
I’d be satisfied with a mysterious piece of art. A photograph that spoke
thousands upon thousands of words without ever revealing her visage. Every week
I could read her wonderful, joyful words until that faithful month where she
seemed to disappear. No update for one week, then two, then three. I made myself
believe she was out somewhere, living her life, that she’d come back very quick.
But another week passed, then a fifth. Everyday had me come back on my computer
just to check for an update. I could not take it anymore. I emailed her a shy
message.</p>

<blockquote>
  <p>Hi, I was just wondering if everything was going fine!</p>
  
  <p>– a worried admirer.</p>
</blockquote>

<p>The answer came two days later.</p>

<blockquote>
  <p>Hello, thanks for writing to me. Everything is fine. I’m having a bit of
  personal and computer problems nowadays, I should be back soon.</p>
  
  <p>‒ TremÄ.</p>
</blockquote>

<p>Through those short, heartfelt emails, we got to know each other a bit more.
Writing parts of ourselves to the other. Discovering things we’d never expected.
Through instant messaging, when she finally started updating her blog again, we
discovered yet a bit more about each other. But though I craved her pictures,
though I craved her words, they felt less appealing than the conversations I
would have with her. I felt that the only reason that pushed me to go online was
to look on my list of contacts and hope she was there. We’d spend hours talking
about beliefs, tastes and most importantly: sex.</p>

<p>One day, she made the proposal.</p>

<p>‒ Let’s meet, she wrote.</p>

<p>‒ What? I asked, puzzled that she’d want to break her mystery.</p>

<p>‒ In real life, I want to be more than just your fantasy.</p>

<p>‒ But I do not want to see your face, I do not want you to become anything
else than a fantasy. I’ve only discovered parts of you and I can’t even begin to
imagine what it would be like to destroy your mystery.</p>

<p>‒ You won’t, I will take care of that.</p>

<p>And she gave me an address. Now, I am here, in this very peaceful moment.
With her in my arms. Even in the dark she was beautiful. I did not regret it. It
sure had broken a bit of my fantasy, but I had not seen her. She was right there
in front of me, yet she was invisible. I felt free with her, satisfied and
perfectly in my place in this world.</p>

<p>An hour or so later, I felt it was time to leave. I kissed her, fondled with
the darkness to find my clothes and clumsily walked to the door. “Thank you” I
said as I passed the door. The drive home felt very weird. I felt that, for some
reason, I’d never see her again. I went to bed with a smile nonetheless. This
really had been a glorious night.</p>

<p>There were no updates for the week that followed. I had to rely on older
pictures to keep my appetite for her body from eating my inside. But soon, her
digital self could not satisfy me as much as it used to. I had gotten more, and
I craved more again. Her erotism could not fill my hunger for her anymore. Days
and days I spent thinking of her sweet embrace, worrying if all was well. No
emails in my inbox, not a sign of her on instant messaging. She did not even
answer my emails. I was starting to believe she had moved on and changed life
completely.</p>

<p>Four months went by. I had forgotten all about her. She was in the past and I
only remembered a bit of our encounter. One morning, as I was enjoying
breakfast, I heard shuffling in the corridor. I opened my door and saw movers
transporting furniture to the last apartment of the block. There was a beautiful
woman that followed them. She looked at me with a smile.</p>

<p>‒ Looks like we’re going to be neighbours! she said happily.</p>

<p>She held out her hand, I shook it idly.</p>

<p>‒ Cool, my name’s Sefane, nice to meet you, I replied stupidly.</p>

<p>‒ I’m Anaïs. Hope to talk to you more later!</p>

<p>And she started walking away, almost prancing in happiness. Suddenly, my mind
raced to make links when it finally occurred to me.</p>

<p>‒ Hey, wait!</p>

<p>‒ Yes? What’s up?</p>

<p>‒ Is your name written with a Trema?</p>

<p>‒ Well yes, why would you ask?</p>

<p>I only smiled. I had forgotten all about her. And there she was...</p>

<h3>For TremÄ...</h3>

<div id="disqus_thread"></div>

<script>
    var disqus_shortname = "cdroulers";
    var disqus_identifier = "/writings/and-there-she-was";
    var disqus_url = 'http://cdroulers.com/writings/and-there-she-was/';
    (function() {
        var dsq = document.createElement('script'); dsq.async = true;
        dsq.src = '//' + disqus_shortname + '.disqus.com/embed.js';
        (document.getElementsByTagName('head')[0] || document.getElementsByTagName('body')[0]).appendChild(dsq);
    })();
</script>

<noscript>Please enable JavaScript to view the <a href="http://disqus.com/?ref_noscript">comments powered by Disqus.</a></noscript>

<p><a href="http://disqus.com" class="dsq-brlink">comments powered by <span class="logo-disqus">Disqus</span></a></p>

        </section>
        
        <footer>
            © <a href="mailto:webmaster@cdroulers.com">Christian Droulers</a> 2013 | <a href="https://code.google.com/p/cdroulers-website/source/browse/">Source</a>
        </footer>
    </body>
</html>